The dogs we help are not used to living in a house with the love of a family and, particularly only dogs, may suffer from separation anxiety. When your dog arrives, itโs important to let your dog settle and build up confidence and independence in order to help them cope for periods of time home alone. You may find itโs easier to sleep downstairs with your dog in the first few weeks or allow them to sleep in your bedroom. This does not have to be a long-term solution but a flexible approach in the early days means a stress-free dog and a good nights sleep for all. Making sure your dog is happy through the night at the beginning of the adoption will mean they are able to cope with day-to-day life easier.
During the first few weeks, try not to leave your dog home alone for long periods of time and cause unnecessary stress. You can build up their confidence and independence by using the Flitting Game
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Thereโs a two part game I call โthe flitting gameโ โ we pick two adjacent rooms, ideally kitchen and living room.
Set your timer on your phone (silently) for five minutes. Then make multiple trips during that five minutes from one room to the next, fiddle with something in one room, then move on.
As you do this, ignore your dog โ as in donโt talk to him or touch him, but keep an eye on him โ as he begins to settle โฆ flit again.
Over the course of a few sessions you should find your dog becomes slower to get up, slower to settle, lurks in the hallway or in doorways, starts to look annoyed at you because this is now TEDIOUSโฆ ugh and unrewarding.
Itโs important to remember this is not some strict military regime, if you WANT your dog to come with, to talk to him, to fuss, him, fine, outside these sessions invite him along.
The point is that when you do not invite him, it might not be worth his effort to follow youโฆ and when he realises that, you can then occasionally add in a good reason NOT to choose following you.
So step two is, add that reason in โ a big juicy bone, a big filled Kong, something thatโs highly rewarding and a pain in the backside to lift and carry around.
Now repeat the flitting, if he chooses not to follow you, try to stay a little less time in the โawayโ room, a little more in the โhomeโ room, and build up gradually, second by second.
Do not always give the Kong or bone, carry on doing sessions without, and very gradually build up to other rooms and longer durations away.
At any point your dog is free to come and check, if he does thatโs fine, donโt say hi or anything but make a mental note that perhaps this was a step too far and to scale back.
The idea is that your dog learns that it is his own choice not to follow and sometimes, that choice is highly reinforcing, sometimes it is just saving him some tedium and effort. He is free to check up if heโs worried, thereโs no force or pressure at all.